Snow

According to one province’s version of Chinese mythology, the great goddess Sell Soon Boo was responsible for snow. When she was upset, locals believe she shook her head violently and the sky would fill with flakes. As it snowed, residents reportedly started doing silly things in the street, an almost surrealistic display featuring hands waving about, dancing, and pillow fights. Since early pillows were filled with rocks, casualties during snow storms were quite common. As casualties mounted, town folk took to yelling epithets at each other, just before their neighbors knocked them senseless with a nearby sleep accessory. With the invention of feather pillows, the epithets eventually turned into encouragement. This became the first historical account of non-injurious pillow talk.

Ballet

Scientists recently proved the existence of an ancient and legendary cannibal tribe that resided deep in the jungles of the Amazon. It seems the tribe’s tastes were quite peculiar, which led to their early demise. According to the tribal stories, members of the tribe were limited to only eating people in their peer group. Once the unfortunate peer was dispatched, the cannibal chief raised his arms (the chief’s arms, not the kinsman’s arms) and spun around his right toe several times (yeah, the chief's toe). This signaled to the rest of the tribe that the great goddess Toronatoes had swept away the soul of their beloved dinner. As you can imagine, the herd thinned itself out of existence. However, several conquistadors witnessed the elegant dance and brought its graces back to Europe. The Peer You Ate dance became quite a dance sensation at dinner parties. And to this day, it remains a standard part of any ballet virtuoso.

Wednesday

Though most names for the days of the week are shrouded in mystery, luckily, there is an explanation for the day, Wednesday. According to Roman historian Ondopamine (c. 197 AD), Wednesday was named after Caesar Psoriasis's camel, Mel. Mel, it appears was the court's favorite camel who would, among other things, become flatulant when startled. This is also where the term 'clear the court' came from. Originally, Psoriasis wanted to call the day 'Melday,' which would have made many a school child happy when confronted with spelling the days of the week. Sadly, Melday was a no-starter, and Psoriasis settled for Mel's nickname, Windy. Over time, Wendyday became Wednesday. And to this day, we continue to honor Mel when we speak of Wednesday as being 'hump day.'

Virginia

Lou Bordeaux of Sandston, Virginia owned a large automobile and door louver manufacturing facility. Lou's Louvers employed several thousand workers. These workers contributed a sizable amount of money to the state's tax coffers. According to state records, when Bordeaux suggested that he was looking to move his plant to another state, the governor panicked and told the legislature create a campaign to keep the plant and jobs in Virginia. In an historic error, the printing company charged with creating the slogan misspelled louvers and created a marketing sensation. Thus, the very successful "Virginia is for Lovers" campaign was created.

Flying Hams

Very little is known about the ancient attack art of high flying hams, but according to legend, King Norderstardantank (c. 1325) of Norway, invented the first strategic pork catapult that could send a pig flying over 1000 yards. It's accuracy, according to the story, was so exact, that enemies would get physically ill when they heard the King was coming. To this day, whenever anyone sees a pig fly, physicians immediately suspect swine flew.

Ronald Reagan

Recently unclassified documents have shed more light on the Reagan administration. According to one document, Reagan was actually a robot constructed from old communicators used in the original Star Trek television series. Thus, he was constantly referred to as the Great Communicator, not because he had talent, but because he was much larger than the original communicators. And he tended to chirp when he bent over.