Winnie the Pooh

Long before he became a staple of the early childhood reader’s lexicon, Winnie the Pooh had a life outside the realm of fiction. Recent documentation of the bear’s life reveals that Pooh was once a very large bear. Apparently, his addiction to honey pots was a lifelong struggle. Medical records indication his pot problems led him to a staggering weight of close to two tons. Realizing something had to be done about his size, Pooh decided on the then expensive procedure of liposuction. As luck would have it, a mobile home salesman by the name of Benny Bago was looking for a gimmick to help him make quota. According to legend, when he met Pooh, Bago came up with the phrase “Buy this mobile home or the bear will sit on you.” The phrase was short lived, but the relationship wasn’t. Bago partnered with Pooh to create a motor home prototype that later became a highway icon. When Pooh sold his share of the company, he had enough money for the operation and enough money to start all over again. Today, the company that bears his name, Winnebago, is still going strong, and Pooh has yet to kick his addiction to honey pots.

NAB

Often referred to as the National Association of Broadcasters, the initials NAB originally stood for the National Association of Bass Catchers.

Once a year, people who fished would often go to Las Vegas for an annual convention to celebrate the glory that is fishing, specifically bass fishing. Unfortunately, after a few years of the convention, the thousands of bass fisherman drained both Lake Meade and Lake Mojave. With an absence of bass and an unhealthy amount of alcohol, broadcasters and former airline pilots were the only groups who wanted to continue meeting in Las Vegas. Those bass fishing, hard drinking pilots were well known for their rowdiness and impromptu “landing festivals” that involved, well, I really can’t go into that. In short, the airline industry had them on a no-fly watch list, long before the infamous lists became popularized by the federal government.

With the majority of bass fisherman gone, broadcasters alone were determined to carry on in the desert. Eventually, these stalwart professionals decided it would be neat to see cool equipment during the daytime, when they were, er, sober. Broadcast equipment manufacturers thought it was a great idea to go to the desert and hang out with the people they wanted to sell stuff to. Together, they came up with a specific convention that not only catered to the needs of broadcasters and video production people, but it also catered to their healthy interest in exploring the wide variety of libations that can only be found in Vegas.

Sweet Tea

Sweet tea, long a favorite southern beverage, has its roots in Saxon war rituals. On the occasions where Saxons won a victory on the battlefield, they would drink the blood of their opponents. Though they believed the blood would give them power, it often gave them dysentery; a problem that often led to their defeat on and off the battlefield. Tired of getting caught with his pants down, Grrpxnstrbr the Vowelless suggested they drink tea instead. Culturally, this was a milestone for the Saxons. After the ‘tea service’ took hold within the armed ranks, Loosy Anne, a Saxon groupie, suggested sweetening the tea with sugar. (Loosy Anne's discovery eventually lead to the invention of the earliest known dentures). Soon pinkies were raised and demitasses were lifted in the spirit of camaraderie, and when they discovered that blood needn’t be spilled to enjoy tea, they developed a pacifist attitude that eventually led to their demise.