Golf

Legend has it that Bill Lochmess created the first golf club that talked. He fashioned the leather club from one of his prized black sheep. This club was an instant success, and Lochmess devised a way to mass produce the clubs and make a tidy profit. Curiously, the club had two distinct features that no one could quite duplicate with other clubs. First, it had the uncanny ability to point in the direction the ball needed to go, a very handy feature especially for the novice golfer. The second feature was a bleating noise it made when the club head made contact with the ball. As you can imagine, the bleating noise became quite the distraction on the course, and the club's knack for pointing itself correctly to the hole uncomfortably evened the playing field between amateurs and professionals. Eventually, the club was banned from the sport in 1902. According to official documents, then president of the Genuine Athletic Golfer's Association (GAGA) Bill Happenstance, made the fateful announcement calling for an end to all Black Sheep Drivers.