Valentine's Day

The origins of Valentine's day are usually associated with two priests named Valentine who were both martyred during the early years the church. However, reports have surfaced that there was a third priest named Vinnie Valentine. This name popped up in a recent document discovered in an ancient Roman catacomb.
The document tells the story of Cupicious, who is referred to as "Maioribus harp ludio ludius obvius Luni," (trans: The greatest harp player in Luni). Citizens traveled far and wide to hear him play the harp. Though many found his music incredibly powerful and moving, it could also be deadly. According to the ancient texts, Cupicious used sharp arrows to pluck the strings, and sometimes these arrows would take flight during his performance. The document notes that many people suffered serious injuries from "the arrows of Cupicious's misfortune." During one performance, an arrow fatally struck Vinnie Valentine. When the church discovered the priest's death, they decided Vinnie should be remembered not for being killed by an arrow while listening to secular music, but remembered as someone who gave his heart freely to those around him.
A lowly church bureaucrat was charged with writing the priest's obituary. The bureaucrat, Buyus Hallmarkus, embellished the obit so well that the story evolved into the following:
"A demon named Cupicious struck down Monsignor Valentine as the priest was bestowing the love of his heart upon his parishioners. Upon the priest's death, those nearby suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to bestow cards and candy to their families and friends."